Why Being STUCK Doesn't Have To SUCK
Have you ever been stuck? You know you have a goal you want to reach and you can’t seem to move a muscle toward that dream! Maybe it’s a career goal, weight loss or something else on your list. You have tried things but nothing seems to work. And so then you start to lose hope, fall into a malaise and before you know it you are stuck in the mud. And we HATE to admit that we are stuck. After all, who wants to listen to the complaints, right? Even you can’t stand your own mind-chatter-whining!
But, consider this: what if being stuck is necessary? What if being stuck isn’t a bad thing, but a part of a process that can’t be sidestepped? What if being stuck can actually be soul serving and nurturing instead of torturous and lonely?
I’ve been stuck. In fact, this summer, I was going through some stuck-ness. And truth be told, it did suck for a while, until I decided to take my own advice and tap. I tapped in the morning when I got up and I tapped at night before I went to bed. The tapping helped me to think more clearly and release the tightness and judgment I had about being stuck. Once that dissipated, my mind opened up to possibilities. The possibility that maybe feeling this way was an invitation to explore something that was holding me back. Here are the realizations that using EFT tapping on my stuck-ness helped me conclude:
1. Even Though I’m Stuck, I’m Totally O.K. (great set-up statement for your tapping by the way). Think about that a minute. We are ingrained as a society to multi-task and keep moving and go, go, go. So the feeling like you can’t get momentum on a specific project, goal or even your business can be daunting. It’s helpful to separate the who of who you are with the current state of stuck-ness. You are stuck, but you are still o.k.; you’re not weird, you’re not wrong and for heaven’s sake you are good enough!
2. It’s Just Not Time Yet. I don’t remember where I heard it but someone said imagine a rose. Each day the petals slowly open – in stages. And you don’t stand there and yell at it to hurry up and open fully. It’s the same with us. We bloom. We birth. Everything in its own time.
3. A Pity Party is Still a Party. Yeah, I went there. Sometimes it just feels good to sulk, feel sorry for yourself, cry and wallow. It’s an important release for when things aren’t going exactly how you would like. The key – and here’s the key just like when you are an invited guest at a party – don’t stay late and be the last one to leave.
4. It’s O.K. to Be Nice (to yourself). Sometime when you are stuck and feeling badly about a situation, you tend to fall off the wagon in good commitments to yourself; the healthy eating goes out the window, you skip the gym, maybe have one or two more glasses of wine than you should, the gratitude list is nowhere to be found. This only adds to the state, so remember to be kind to yourself. Maybe take a nice long bath, listen to your favorite music or go for a walk in nature. Whatever it is, just give yourself a break!
5. Stop Fighting. What we resist persists, so don’t push up again the stuck-ness with a bunch of self-doubt, anger and judgment. Feel it and let it go. Tapping is especially great to use for this.
Here is an EFT tapping script to help when you are stuck:
IE: I hate being stuck
OE: It feels so hopeless
UE: I just want something to change
UN: Then I won’t be stuck and I’ll feel better
CP: Look at everyone else around me
CB: They are moving along nicely with their goals
UA: And here I am stuck in the mud
TH: Everyone else is going to get ahead and I’ll be right here
OE: I just don’t see anything changing soon
UE: That sucks
UN: I know people say things can change in a moment’s notice
CP: But not for me
CB: I’m just not lucky that way
UA: I’m going to be stuck forever
TH: That’s just how it is
IE: I wonder if it is possible to be different
OE: Maybe I need to be here right now
UE: I’m open to considering that
UN: What if I could nurture myself right now?
CP: Maybe that would help me get unstuck
CB: What if I could say “I love being stuck”!
UA: And try to mean it!
TH: What would be possible for me?
IE: I guess I could try it
OE: Maybe just for a little bit
UE: Because sometimes being stuck actually feels good
UN: Being stuck doesn’t feel good
CP: Being stuck feels good
CB: Being stuck doesn’t feel good
UA: What if I could love being stuck?
TH: What would be possible then?
IE: I don’t want to love it because I don’t want to STAY STUCK.
OE: o.k. so maybe I can tolerate it
UE: I can tolerate being stuck and be open
UN: Be open that things will change at the perfect moment
CP: Be open that I can create the change when I feel ready
CB: I can learn to accept and release
UA: I accept being stuck and I release it
TH: I am releasing being stuck
How to SPARK Your Goals!
So it is almost mid-March and how are you feeling about the goals you've set for 2014? Are you happy with where you are? Are you still motivated or feeling defeated?
Research shows that more than half of those who set goals/resolutions at the beginning of the year have already ditched them by the end of January! This really intrigued me and I wanted to know more. Experience has shown that when we jump head first into lofty goals, and without a plan, that the success rate is dismal at best. Add a little rebel into the mix (no, no, you won't hold me down to a goal!) and, well, let's just say it isn't a formula of achievement.
Whether you have decided to scrap your goals already, revamp them or possibly take a crack at them for the first time, I've put together "5 Ways To SPARK Your Goals" to inspire a more fluid (and fun) way of goal-setting.
#1 Make them intentional.
How do you intend to be/feel when you’ve reached your goal? This is a juicy step (and deceptively powerful so don't skip it!). Take your time and really imagine it already done! Write it down in great detail or record it on your smartphone, so you can listen to it in your car, on a train or a daily SPARK reminder!
#2 Make them real.
Make them stretch-goals. It’s o.k. for it to be a little scary, AND at the same time, you don’t want to psych yourself out. So make them real.
#3 Make them visible.
Write down your goals and keep them visible in multiple places so that you can revisit over and over again during the day. Make them beautiful with different colored markers and paper so your eye and your energy will happily get sparked each time you see them!
#4 Make them easy.
One of the easiest ways to reach a goal is to break it down into bite size pieces and don't forget to schedule those tasks. It's more user-friendly (and productive) to say "today I will write chapter 1 of War and Peace", instead of scheduling in "today I will write War and Peace"!
#5 Make them loving.
Shift happens, and when it does, we can get temporarily derailed or delayed. Time for YOU to shift and be flexible. Be loving with yourself! The easiest way back into action is to take a break, do something fun to spark your energy and then return to #1!
5/16/2013 0 Comments
5 Practical Things (And 1 Woo-Woo Thing!) Executive Moms Need For Success!
So what are you willing to do for success? Your answer may change from time to time depending on your life circumstances. For instance, when I was working my way up the ranks of the corporate ladder, I was more willing to stay late, do tasks and projects that other people were not willing to do, and sit patiently and listen to a story that my boss had told me at least 30 times previously, while my friends were waiting for me at the happy hour watering hole. I was driven. I had a plan for success.
The next phase of my life was marriage and kids. I wasn’t prepared for the way having kids would require me to morph my success plan. (And, I was fortunate to learn many personal energy skills to help me create a new plan -- this is the woowoo part!). For instance, late nights at the office, were no longer something I was willing to do on a regular basis. In addition to this becoming a logistical nightmare, it would mean missing the precious little time I had with my kids already. Business trips were required, but instead of traveling the night before I needed to be there – which would mean an additional night away from home – I would get up and take the butt-crack of dawn flight whenever possible.
So how do executive moms make the inevitable transition in their plan and continue to achieve career success?
Here are 5 practical things that you need to know:
1. Get Real. Get real with you. This requires you to soul-search and know, in advance of last minute situations (day care calling with your child’s latest boo-boo – not serious of course), how you will respond, delegate, etc. In other words, what are you willing to let go of at work or at home.
2. Have A Backup Plan. (i.e., cover your a**). Be sure that you have staff whom are ready, willing and able to pull things together for you, should your other full-time job (motherhood) need you! Likewise, you need a good Circle of Solitude (significant other, babysitter, family, etc.) to join you in your life’s plan.
3. How Cute Is Your Kid? Very, of course! But not everyone at work needs or wants to hear about the new cutest thing your kid did. Depending upon your work environment, and position there, will help you determine just how much kid-talk is welcome.
4. Can I See You? No matter how flexible your company is, if you are upwardly mobile, or in a position of leadership, face-time is important. Be aware of important dates – the client is coming in – and this probably wouldn’t be a good time to schedule a pediatrician visit. Since motherhood is almost as predictable as the weather, emergencies aside, being strategic about your face-time is key.
5. Speak Up. Some people think that because you have had a child that your next strategy is an exit strategy. If you love your job and have ambitions, you must continue to make this known. Keep your ear to the ground and participate in important conversations, keep your finger on the pulse of what’s happening in your industry and actively let your voice be heard.
And, as promised, here is 1 WooWoo Thing:
1. Goal + Intention = Success. Chances are you are great at setting goals but setting intentions is a whole different ball of wax! An intention is the secret sauce that makes a goal achievable. When you intend for something to be, it is like you are sending out an energetic Morse Code message to the Universe to get on board and make it happen!
Goal: My goal is to grow my department revenue by x% by the 4th quarter.
Intention: I intend to confidently and easily create a plan that attracts clients who are open, interesting and eager to bring their wealth, cooperation and gratitude to the table in the fastest way possible!
See the difference? A goal states the facts. An intention brings the juiciness and positive feelings that enable you to imagine the success already and be excited about it.
Action: Next time you are goal-setting, sit down with a paper and pen (the act of physically writing adds to the positive energy of the intention) and journal about your intention or what you “see and feel” as success.
Paula G. Rosario
All Authenticity Celebrate Choice Courage Create Energy Shift Frustration Fun Goals Goddess Grace Gratitude Growth Guilty Pleasures Health Heart Imagination Imagine Inspiration Life Lessons Love Loving Miracle Mother-goddess Negative Statements Opposites Oprah Overwhelm Positive Statements Power Of Intention Rally Show Up For You Stay-at-home Moms Support Survival Thank You The Edge Of Madness Thrival Time Tv Vision Visualize What's Wrong? Woowoo Strategies For Success Working Moms Yin & Yang
What They Are Saying About Paula
Laura West, President & Chief Creative Officer, www.centerforjoyfulbusiness.com