What kind of mother are you? To your SELF........
If there were a meter installed to calibrate the percentage of time in a day that mothers contemplate, worry about and/or do things for their children, I’d venture to say it would be a conservative 90% of the time! And why not! Our children are our joy (most of the time!).
But then what happens during the other 10% of a mother’s brain space and activity? Well, she works, inside and outside the home, is a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister and before she knows it she has surpassed the 10% by a mile and maybe just maybe before she collapses into slumber with one eye shut and the other on it’s way, she’ll ask herself, “did I take my makeup off yet?”
The instinct to mother others (whether you have children or not) is innate in women. What is not as instinctual, however, is being a mother to ourselves. Nurturing, coddling, lulling and lovingly caring for ourselves. I’m not talking about the weekly manicure or massage or trips to the gym (which is all great, by the way!). I’m talking about an exploration of what makes your toes curl, makes you laugh till your sides hurt or connects you with your soul – and living it daily.
When I was first acquainted with the term “extreme self-care” it made me feel really uneasy and even angry. It seemed so self-indulgent and unnecessary. And, the thought of me “having to do” yet another thing set me into a spin. I was disconnected with what gave me joy outside of my family and my work. And that was the point: the joy was outside me. I didn’t have a clue as to how to find the joy inside.
I was so uncomfortable with the idea of “taking care of myself” (oh, o.k., I colored my hair!) that it took an illness that rendered me motionless for a time, to wake me up and smell the coffee.
This was no longer something I could ignore. It was staring me down. But, I hated the idea of being “selfish”. So I changed the word to “self-full.” That felt right for me. My journey to self-full living continues today. Just as a new mom learns how to respond to her newborn’s needs, I have had to learn how to be a mother to myself and nurture my mind, body and spirit.
So during this month of May when we celebrate our mothers, I will be sharing some of my favorite ways to care for, cherish and love thyself! I hope you will post yours as well! Stay Tuned!
Paula G. Rosario
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Laura West, President & Chief Creative Officer, www.centerforjoyfulbusiness.com